Sunday, May 25, 2008

My beautiful boy

Saturday, May 24, 2008

In Memory and With Love

Missing You

I had a couple of more settled days this week, and I even asked Bren why I seem to have been calmer on Wednesday and Thursday. Neither of use really knew. I've been to the yard every day to water your flowers and I put a lovely red rose on your door on Wednesday and didn't have any really bad wobbly moments. Yesterday was very difficult though. I went to the yard on my way back from London and started to chat to a few people and went to see Katy. Her big brown eyes and her grey face just reminded me so much of you I had to go away and then seeing other people stroking their ponies really got to me and I had to leave.

There are some things that I think I'm only just now beginning to realise. Firstly that you're gone and I won't see you again, and secondly that because of that, I won't stroke you, groom you, ride you and talk to you, trim your feathers, plait you up, wash your tail, tack you up, sponge you off, sponge off the poo you laid in overnight, feed you titbits, give you a likit, make your breakfast, make your haynets, organise your tack, clear out your grooming kit, turn you out, bring you in, ride round the farm with you, have a blast up the permissives with you.... the things we will never do are endless.

I won't ever load you onto the box again, drive you somewhere and keep asking if you are ok, I won't take any more pictures of you, I won't know how white you go as you get older and I will never buy you another set of shoes. John won't turn you out again and tell me about your antics in the field and what a lovely boy you have grown up to be. You won't give me a playful double barrel when ask for canter on the lunge, I wont ever ride you walk to canter again and love it, your lip won't stick out again when you get scratched and I won't hear your funny hiccup again.

Life is cruel, wicked and cruel. How is it ok for you to have only 9 years and for me to have only 4 years with you?

I'm so protective of you even now that if anyone asks a dumb question I get snappy. So many people just don't get how this feels but me being snappy isn't fair because so many people have been in touch and are so sad about me losing you.

I have too much time on my hands and no motivation to do anything. I've gone from having no time and rushing everywhere, to having too much and no reason to do anything. I think that's one of the toughest parts of this, there are things I can do but they are not important and I can't generate the energy to do them.

I might bring your bridles and saddles home from the yard and clean them and put them away with your rugs and other bits and pieces. At least that's something to do that's related to you.

I have to write the other blog entries about Wye, Frensham etc but I have to write happy things so that will have to wait for another time.

It's a 3 day weekend now, and it's going to be so difficult to fill the time without you.

I miss you.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Your Tribute Drink

On the day I lost you, I told Chris and Sharon that I would like them to ride to the Fox and I would meet them there and we would all have a drink to remember you.

I then saw some other friends on Thursday and they said they would like to come. By Friday quite a few people were mentioning it so I put a note on the board telling everyone they were welcome as I didn't want people to feel I was excluding them if I hadn't mentioned it to them, I just didn't expect so many people to express a wish to come.

During Friday I decided I wanted the ponies to wear a button hole in their bridles so the florist made me five, one each for Spirit, Coy and Ludo, and one each for your stable door and your casket.

I headed to the stables first to see the girls off and pick up Alice who was going to look after me for the day and we then collected the button holes and went up to the pub. We arrived as the horses did so that was good timing; they had a wonderful ride and thought of you as they had a lovely canter up the long straight bit on the common.

We got the Stella's in and had a toast to you, then more people started arriving. I was overwhelmed and I know you were too, that so many people wanted to come along and pay their respects. The people that came were:

Sharon & Mr Coy
Chris & Spirit
Linda & Ludo
Emily and

Tim was there, and very upset the hear the news, he promptly headed over to the shop to buy carrots for the horses. David and Louis were there too and very sad. Tim asked me if he could try to press one of the button holes for me, which I said I would be delighted with - people are so thoughtful.

We all talked and talked about you, about the accident, about your life, about our relationship and about the truly amazing reaction at the stables. Your stable looks even more amazing now, as there are so so many cards, and flowers for you there. I will put some pictures on here soon.

After drinks at the Fox, went back to the yard with Megan and waiting and generally got in the way as the horses were brought in and tucked into bed.

Then a few lovely lovely friends agreed to come home and see you, so Gina, Holly, Tony, Megan, Linda, Briony and me all sat around talking about you munching on pizza and drinking wine and then putting together the classes for a show I am going to hold later in June in your honour.

The day after was really flat, nothing to focus on and no real energy but I have tidied the Herbie room and you now have pride of place in there. Its nice that I can sit here writing this with you next to me, and I've printed another lovely lovely picture of you too.

Kate phoned today, she is a real brick because I work with her and she knows how it feels to lose a horse as she lost Fafa last year. I'm going to go into work for a couple of hours tomorrow, mostly because I have to go back some time and I would rather go back when Kate is in the office.

Write more soon my lovely boy. I dreamt that there was another horse in your stable in amongst all your flowers last night so I'm going to the yard again today and I will make sure Michael knows that I am keeping your stable for some time.

You are so beautiful.

Friday, May 16, 2008

All About You

16th May 2008

All About You.

I got up and started thinking about loads more things and it came to me that I had to write all about you. I wrote you a long letter yesterday because there were so many thoughts rushing through my head that I had to get them to you somehow so I wrote them and put them in your stable.

I started writing about us on your blog a couple of years ago and was thinking yesterday that I really should put my letter on there instead of leaving the blog without a continuation and now I know that All About You is the way to continue the blog.

Pretty much every morning I would pull up in the car into the car park and you would be watching out and I would stay quiet and then say “hi honey” or “good morning gorgeous” or something similar and you would yell back when you heard my voice. I loved that, it was like our first special communication of the day.

I had some crazy sayings over the years including “how did you get so sexy when I wasn’t looking?” and “are you handsome or just pretending”, “hello my little chicken pie chips and peas” (those that heard me say it will remember it distinctly!), “night night baby boy love you” when I left the yard every evening, and “see you tonight little man, be good” when I left for work. “Hi baby blue” and “Alright my lover lad?” were things I said more recently.

In the winter, I would change your stable rug to your turnout rug before giving you your breakfast and you would get “gobby” as I did the front buckles up. You always did, never bit me, just always got gobby as if to say “get on with it and hurry up”. Sometimes I would walk to you to undo the buckles on your stable rug and I would follow you around the stable for a second or two because you would wander off. I never knew why you did that, I just put it down to impatience. Then I would walk down the barn in the morning with your breakfast and quite often you would call for it, you were certainly always looking over the door for me because you knew exactly what was coming.

I would put your boots on when you were eating your breakfast and you never minded, you used to move your legs sometimes to help me out. When the last boot was on I often gave your leg a cuddle, always the right fore, and a kiss because I always thought you had such sexy legs and told people that too. You had nice big tough legs with lovely muscles all of which I saw grow stronger and stronger from the day I brought you home.

I did a “leg check” every evening too, to make sure you were ok from your day out in the field because you were so playful and you worried me so much. It became so important to me that even Sharon used to make sure she checked your legs when she sometimes put you to bed. When I did this in the evening I often gave your right fore a kiss then too.

You’ve got a lead rope clipped onto your stable bolt which I put on after someone let Coy out of his stable one night. The lead rope has been on there a good year or so now and it became your toy. After breakfast, teeth still full of food, you would get hold of it and chew it and fling it around. It’s got unravelled over time and it’s really grotty and it will be coming home with me soon because it holds so many memories of every time I walked down the barn and saw you with it in your mouth flinging it around.

This year when your coat was changing from winter to summer you were so itchy. We were just getting to the point where you would turn to have a scratch and I would say “show me” and you would give me an idea of where it was and I would scratch your itch for you. You loved it, and for me it was such an important bonding moment. Bonding moments were important to me from the day you came home, because I wanted you to trust and love me as I did you. And I know you did.

Back leg scratches were the best, and combing your tail always triggers itchy legs and you would lift them to tell me they needed scratching and I used my nails or a comb to give all around your hocks a nice long scratch. More often than not you wouldn’t let me stop and I quickly had to put you in your stable so you could carry on on your own in case you fell over you daft boy.

There are things that are very particular to the last few months which we didn’t do before, like the leg scratching and the cuddles at the mounting block.

I have to write all of this because I’ve always worried about my terrible memory and I can’t bear the thought of not remembering things about you.

Just looking at my pictures on the wall and one reminds me that so often I would take loads of pictures of you at a show or at home and when I looked over them there was often one or two of you with your tongue sticking out – I will have to put all of those together.

I used to give your bum and under your back legs a squeeze when I was grooming or when I walked past you when you were tied up outside your stable and I was going about mucking out and things. Again, it was part of our bonding that I should say “hi” whenever I walked past you or tell you where I was going and what I was going to do next. “Just doing your buckets honey then we’ll get going” or “two ticks buddy” was a common saying of mine. I was always talking to you, because I knew you could understand me.

When you first came home you had a stable in the barn and I thought that would be good because you were so nervous and it meant you would have other horses to see and could get used to all the noises going on and it would help to settle you a little.

Even the first weekend people told me we had a bond already. I don’t know how or why they thought it but I loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you, there was no question that you were the one for me.
A little while after you moved in, I bought some rubber for the floor because you used to sleep and stand in the same place and even if there was loads of straw in the bed you would make a hole in it down to the floor. One time you pulled a muscle in your shoulder and I worried that you did that whilst you were getting up from your snooze because you’d moved all the straw so I put the rubber down.

After a year your new lovely stable came free and I must admit I fought a bit for you to go there – sorry about that to everyone I got a bit greedy with but I was determined! That stable was lovely for you, you loved it, I loved it, and it will always be yours. When the holes in the floor got fixed I drew your name in the cement in a couple of places.

When we first went out together you spun a lot when you were scared of something and did a complete 180, often ending up with me on the deck – but you didn’t run away, you stayed with me, and after a couple of years the spinning started to stop and I could see scary things ahead and reassure you that it was ok and you would listen to me and trust me that it was ok and we’d ride past and I would tell you what a brave boy you were.

When I first brought you home you wouldn’t stand at the mounting block, and Kathie and I taught you it was ok by moving a little set of steps around for 2/3 months and giving you a treat every time I got on. In the end you stood still by the mounting block, or anywhere I asked you to when I fell off, and didn’t move a muscle until I said it was ok.

I truly believe you had as much love and respect for me as I did and still have for you.

Everyone at work knew how much I love you. They used to always give me their apples that they didn’t want and I would bring them to the stables for you. I used to tell everyone that it was a crime that they should eat apples because they were pony food only. I’ve probably eaten the odd apple over the last 4 years but actually I can’t remember eating even one and if I had I would have done it with guilt or thinking “it’s ok cos I will get my baby double the amount this week” or something like that.

Pony carrier bags were always more important that my food bags. Just ask Sharon. I would feel so guilty if I didn’t put carrots and apples in your feed and very rarely did I not. Often you had suede, turnip and pears too – but you were never that fond of brussel sprouts.

You were my life. My everything. That’s why I took so many millions of photographs of you and that’s why I kept a blog for you and that’s why I named my company after you and that’s why I named my wireless network (mad but true) after you and that’s why my passwords were about you and that’s why I bought a lorry for you, and that’s why I was making myself get brave again about jumping, because I owed it to you. My heart is broken without you.

I wrote on every rosette because I never wanted to forget just how much we had achieved, we had to bounce back after that first pleasure ride and we did. I wrote down the ribbon on the rosette “Herbie’s first outing, battered but not defeated”. I knew if I gave you so much unconditional love you would get braver and we would be an amazing partnership. We proved that, I am so proud of you and I can’t believe I have lost you, my world has fallen apart but I am so proud to have known you and I am so proud of our bond, our unbelievable bond.

I always knew when you were hurt, I always knew when you needed something, you couldn’t talk to me, but that’s what made our relationship even more special. You had to tell me in your way and I learned to understand you, just by the look in your eye or the fact that you just were different that day or at that time.

When we were riding along, if I just touched you on the neck in a certain way you stopped still and turned around to me because you knew that meant I had a sweetie for you. Although that was never a very regular thing that I did, you always knew the difference between a scratch on the neck to tell you turn around for a sweetie, and a scratch on the neck just to say hi, I love you.

I don’t think there is another pony that learned how to open the yard gate as well as you. I couldn’t make you back up at any other time without you worrying and saying “I don’t understand mum” but at the gate you would walk straight up to it, I would lift the latch and you would start walking backwards as I opened the gate. Then you would walk through and line up whilst I shut the gate and I only had to say “stand” and lately didn’t even do that, and you knew to stand still and wait for me even if your friends had all walked off. I was always so proud that you did that.

I thought I would have you forever, to the point where I worried so much about who would take care of you if anything happened to me. I thought many people wouldn’t consider it but actually a couple of people have since told me they had worried about it for them and their horses too. I was pleased when Chris and I made contact again because that meant that as well as Sharon who of course would need to look after your buddy Coy as well as you, Chris was around should anything happen to me and you needed to be cared for.

When you were lying in the field, Debbie and Gina said your friends were all around you pushing the other horses away, they were protecting you. When they came along the horses left and we like to think that they were protecting you until help arrived. When John called me I asked him to stay with you and not leave you and I know he did.

When I arrived I was worried about all the other horses coming over and I wanted them shooed away, but I thought about it later and felt sorry I did that because of course my grief and my wishes are one thing, but you had your friends around you, the part of your life I didn’t entirely understand and of course we humans just don’t know enough about how you bond and communicate and understand each other so I hope I didn’t upset them or you when I didn’t want them near you.

I stayed with you for a long time, just kissing you, stroking you and closing your eye. And smelling you. I will never know that smell again. I was rather rude to Lacey when I first arrived at the yard, but I quickly apologised and I know she understood. Gina and Debbie have helped by telling how very brave you were and telling me enough of what happened as they know it to comfort me but not upset us.

Lacey kindly went and found the baby blue and navy rug that Bren bought you from Ireland and I covered you with that. I think I remember only putting it on you once but it was covered in your white hairs and I think it may have even had a bit of poo on it.

John thoughtfully already had some of your mane for me to keep and kindly took some of your beautiful tail for me too. I have them here at home and think I will plait them up for you – Lauren may need to help me.

John was my brick. I never ever questioned his judgement on looking after you. Quite a few times he made a point of saying – unquestioned – how he felt that I had done you proud and that you were a different pony to the one that first came home to Wickham Court. I do feel proud. I know I did the best I could by you my baby, and I always wanted people around you that would do the best by you – sometimes I was rather over protective and didn’t “give a little” but that was purely owing to the depth of love and care I have for you.

I feel slightly differently to John’s view, in that I did what you allowed me to do and continued to do what achieved results, in that you became happier, cheekier, more handsome and healthier the more I cared for you. John loved you, John cared for you and really cared about how much I wanted you to be loved and looked after to the point where he second guessed everything I did and truly helped me to be the best mum I could be to you. I will always love John for the love he showed both of us, and I know you will too.

Last night (14) I went back to your stable and tidied your bed and put some flowers on your bed that people had sent me. I didn’t want the flowers at home with me because they are for you and they should be where you lived so they are now laying on your straw and the bow that came with them is on your name plate on your stable door.

I had that name plate made in America because I was fixated that I had to buy you a slate name plate because you are grey. I found the man that made it on the internet and ordered it. I was so excited when it came, it was perfect and I had deliberated about what name to put on and whether it should be Herbie, Herbs or A Handful of Herbs. Herbs seemed right because I like the name so much.

People called you Herbie Glynn. That’s because one day when I was telling you off I said “Herbie Glynn will you stop” it’s because I used to call my cats Foggy Glynn and Izzie Glynn so calling you Herbie Glynn was a natural progression. The funny thing is that everyone else did it too and occasionally I would hear someone call you that and it would make me smile.

Just recently you had taken to cuddles and I adored it. When we went to the mounting block in the school you would turn your head to me as I stood on it and put all your weight on my lap and I would kiss and cuddle you like no other time you would let me because you were being a teenage boy – gerroff mum and stop being soppy. You would have stood for ages and ages at that mounting block letting me fuss over you just to be cute and avoid being ridden. I never let you off but loved those cuddles meant so much, they were so special.

I wrote an online diary of you, every event we went to was recorded there because i was so worried that there would be things I would forget. This year we did some dressage at Fickleshole and sponsored rides at Wye, Frensham and Warren Barn and we were booked to go to Speedgate in 2 or 3 weeks time. I haven’t written your blog for these events yet and a day ago I didn’t honestly know if I would but now I do, because I want to have a complete story, I’m just not sure when I will because writing this is more important right now.

Everything about you is so beautiful but your white eyelashes always melted me. No one but me will remember your leafy ears. When you were only six you had black marks on the back of your ears just like the veins on a leaf; they were the first dark bits to go white. I always wondered how white you would become as you got older, you certainly changed a lot in our 4 years together but I loved the silver white colour you were going, it wasn’t a creamy grey but a silver white colour.

Christmas 2006 I made up a pin board to put all my favourite pictures of you on with all of your rosettes. Everything is clamouring for space so I’m going to buy a huge photo frame and put all my pictures in that, and your rosettes can stay on the pin board where there will be more room.

I thought long and hard about your show name. I started with Irish names related to Guinness and things but decided I had to have a reference to Herbie in your show name and so came A Handful of Herbs. I was always proud to write that on a show entry form.

Just a week or so ago I bought you a new head collar, navy blue and very soft and I bought a new while, baby blue and navy lead rope to match. I put it on you but didn’t like it, and the girls at the stables thought I was mad until I made them look at you wearing it and they agree the old one was nicer, so I kept using that. Even John didn’t like the new one and said it without me even asking him. I’ve got our favourite one at home with your lead rope now.

Remember the hail storm? We were out with Coy and heading toward the common for a ride and saw big black clouds in the distance and deliberated on what to do. Then suddenly we saw fork lightning in the distance and decided to head up pig alley towards home. More thunder and lightning as we went up the bridle path and Sharon and I were very quiet as we walked back down Queensway. Half way down the heavens opened and the most awful hail storm started. Hail was pelting at us and some people in the house nearby were looking at us out of their window as we stood there waiting for it to pass. Sharon and I didn’t have a clue how you would be react but Coy just turned his bottom to the storm and as it got worse we turned our back to it too and you just stood there, not panicking, just standing waiting, not enjoying it, but not getting upset either. You were always such a good boy and times like that made me so so so unbelievably proud of you.

We were a team, a partnership and now I’m on my own without you. I am devastated. You are so handsome and so everything to me I can’t stop the tears streaming down my face.

Bren is worried that I will give up being involved with horses but I already know that I owe it to you not to do that. To give up being involved with horses would be letting you down and I could never do that. I have to keep going back to the yard because that is where you lived and so much of my life is there that not to go back would be like leaving you.

Today (16) and thankfully only two days later you are home now. Bren and I drove down and picked you up this morning. Bren immediately felt so much better and when we arrived there I just didn’t know whether I would be able to go in but I was blown away by how wonderful the man was. You always worry about someone looking after your baby because you know it won’t be how you would, but honestly little man I have nothing to regret about you being with those people. Your casket is so beautiful I broke down again, you name is engraved on it and it is written so beautifully, and your shoes are wrapped up for me and they look so beautiful. They even gave me a card for you with a poem inside. I am just overwhelmed and I was stroking you and blowing you kisses all the way home.

I wasn’t sure where I was going to keep you but last night I mentioned this to some friends at the stables as we all stood outside your door talking, and I said that Bren had mentioned the study. They agreed that this was a good idea because I have pictures there and when I thought about the fact that this is where I would have been when I thought about you most at home, printing pictures, writing the blog etc, I decided that the study is where you should be. Bren said we now call it Herbie’s room and not the study anymore.

I thought about taking you to your stable once you were with me and saying a few words there but to be honest that isn’t really going to be practical. Bless them Tony and Megan said they would help me do that if I wanted to.

I talked to the girls on Wednesday (14) about them having to ride on Saturday and that they must go to your pub and have a drink there and I would meet them and we would toast you. Lots of friends at the yard said they would come to the pub too even if they didn’t ride their horses there.

I also thought of organising a little show for all your friends to come to and we will have rosettes to give everyone with “Remembering Herbs” written on them. I would like to do that in remembrance of you because I can’t simply let you go because I owe you so much for everything you have given me. I talked to people about this last night and they thought it was a lovely idea and Tony reminded me of the show he organised at the yard last year so we are going to try to organise the same thing again for you and I am going to ask Kathie, Stan and Anita to come too. Bren is right when he says that “Remembering Herbs” isn’t quite the right thing to put on the rosettes so I think something like “Sponsored by Herbs” would be a good idea.

I’m going to put a photo book together too. I was going to do this a while ago and cover everything from the day you came home to our first red. Now I will include our pictures from Wye and Frensham this year too.
Not many people are that obsessed that they have a room in their house named after their horse and a separate car just for the stables. I have so many things of yours I just don’t know how I am going to cope with seeing everything. Your rugs, your numnahs, your bridles, your two saddles, your lorry, your pessoa, your feed, your veggies, your field boots, just everything was yours and about you. I have to stay strong and brave for you though don’t I? Because you were so brave for me.

I truly can’t believe you have gone. I’m so desperately sad that I have lost you just at the time when I had sorted so much out that I would be able to spend even more time with you. What did you do? You were only in the field about half an hour before it happened. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you all the time but I hope you know I stayed with you and looked after you. I hope you know that I would never ever leave you and that I thought and felt so desperately for you as soon as I knew you needed help. This was always unquestionable and unconditional. There would be no doubt that I would always be there for you, come what may.

It is simply not possible in this world for anyone to love their horse more than I love you. You were my world, my life, my priority, my every minute thought. I rang John if I ever forgot my phone and gave him a different number in case he had to contact me. My phone never left my side when I was away from you so I was always there if you needed me. I would sometimes check it at around 4pm and think to myself that you were fine because by then I knew you were in from the field and that if you had got yourself into trouble then I would know about it by then.

I could never bring myself to leave you and go on holiday so we went together instead. I came to see you every day when you were at Bell because not to was unthinkable, I remember how touched I felt when I walked into the barn that you were staying in and you yelled at me when I hadn’t even spoken and you didn’t know I had arrived until you saw me at that moment. There is just nothing more powerful that that swell of love that I felt.

I do believe you knew how much I loved you because I told you and you were so honest you would have believed me. I don’t think you would ever have doubted me, because I never doubted you.

You will never leave that special place you have in my heart that you settled into the first day I laid eyes on you. I will love you until the day I die and I hope I will see you again then. Until that time comes I will never stop thinking about you, caring for you, talking about you and reliving my memories of our time together. Until then, I hope you will also come to me in my dreams.

I love you with all of my heart my precious beautiful baby boy.

Other people loved you so much too, and I am overwhelmed at the reaction from people at the stables, my friends, Bren’s friends and the people we both worked with.

Your stable looks amazing. When I went to the stables yesterday I found cards left for us and that Kathie had left you flowers with a special note saying she loved you. By the time I left the yard I had spoken to so many people about you and more people gave me flowers for you. Lauren, Pat and Jo bought you a beautiful arrangement, Rachel gave you flowers and me a card from her and her family, and Hannah gave you flowers from her and Scampi. Liz, Fred’s mum gave you some beautiful lilies too and they are in your stable in water in the hope that the flowers will come out. I spoke with Chris today and she said John had never seen such a reaction, that’s how much people care about us and loved you. I’ve had lots of text messages for you, and I thought I would write them here too so here goes:

Hi Sarah. Give me a call when you can. Pls try not to worry, Thinking of you and herbs. If you need anything pls ask. Can come up to yard anytime. Love Sx (Sharon)

Sarah. Maxine just told me about Herbie. I’m so sorry 4 u. Can only imagine how upset u r. Luv lynn/ludo x

Oh my god I can’t believe wot I’ve just hard u poor thing. I no u hv lots of friends but if I can do anything 2 help ease the pain pls let me no. Take care. Linda x (Ludo)

So sorry to hear about herb. All you can do is think what a great life you gave him x (Anita)

So so sorry about herbie sa don’t know what else 2 say 2 u. i do know how u feel and its so unfair take care max and family x

Hi Sarah im v sad to hear bout herbie cant believe it god knows how you feel. We should hold a funeral 4 him. He was such a lovely horse. Take care. Luv Ruth x

Sarah im so so sorry to hear about Herbie I cant believe its happened am thinking of you. Sue xx (Marbee)
Sorry 2 hear about herb thinking of you sarah (Sarah & Jemma)

Im so sorry im really upset lots of love a and g (Alice & Grace)

Im so so so so so so so sorry i feel terrible luv a and g (Alice & Grace)

Hope ur ok hon. Cant stop thinking about u. Take care. Love u lots. Spk tom Cx (Chris)

There are no words 2 say how we feel 4 u and herbs. Love u sarah and we r here 4 u. Love Soph & Gina.

This message is for a few of you very special people. Others I don’t have numbers for but I will see. Times how much you understand that I love Herbs by 1000 and even then it’s not close. He was and is my world. Sincere love and gratitude to you for understanding what kind of relationship we had and for your messages. When you pass his stable, please blow him a kiss. Sx

Thank you for your lovely message, our thoughts are with you. Love Lacey xx

Love and respect u 4 your ability 2 respond when not expected to feelings for u both r real no one person or horse can ease your pain fan was upset as im sure many older ones were they r aware n will be unstable too (Linda & Maddy)

He’ll be sure 2 get loads of kisses from me. Much love Lx (Linda & Ludo)

sad (Dan)

We were all terribly sorry to hear about Herbs. I know how you feel even thought it must be much worse than losing Milton. Take your time getting yourself back together. See you when you come back. (Kev)

Hi, just want you to know i am thinking of you. If you need anything just let me know or i can pop round if you want me to Sxxx (Susie)

We are so sorry that you have lost herbie he was so precious to you. God bless love carrie and georgie xx xx

Very sorry to hear (sad) let me know if I can do anything here to help you out. Big hug, Stu

Hi Sarah, Thinkin bout you. Call if you would like to talk. Love S x (Sharon)

Hi hon, how r u feeling? Been thinking about you all day. Cx (Chris)

Hey hun. Ive sent you the show stuff I have at the mo. I hope today goes wel. Thinking of u x x x x (Tony)

Sarah, so sorry to hear the awful news, hope ur bearing up, good wishes from Debbie, lucie and ellie x

Hi Sarah. I’ve just heard about your boy. Soo sorry to hear. I hope you’re ok. Thinking of you Xxx (Steph)

Hi how r u doing – I can’t stop thinking abt u & herbs it all seems so unreal Hp2 c u sn. Lx (Linda & Ludo)

Honey it's rather late on Friday night and we’re going to the Fox tomorrow to have a drink and think about you. I was at the stables tonight and there is so much more to say, but for now, I will post these thoughts of mine about you, and the messages from others who are missing you already.

I love you. You will always be in my heart.